Introverts v. Extroverts

I don’t know where it originated, but there has been a huge movement in people wanting to share how introverted they are. There are so many articles about it, like this one and this one and this one and this one. I can’t remember the first list that I saw about it, but I remember that day seeing around 20 friends post it on social media. Which to me seemed really ironic.

LET’S ALL TALK ABOUT HOW INTROVERTED WE ARE.

I am not writing this at all to poke fun of introverts. I truly do believe there are differences between introverts and extroverts, I believe it is a real thing, and I also believe that both are necessary to make society function.

What I do not believe is that people fit neatly into one category or the other. Or, that not everyone is the same category at all times. I think it is more individual than that.

I am an extrovert, definitely. But a lot of introverted qualities also apply, and I’m sure that there are some introverts that feel the same way. I cannot speak for everyone, for I have not walked about in their skin. But I do know that holds true for me. So I made a list.

Truths from an Extrovert:

1.) Sometimes social situations drain us, too.

Most of the time, I really enjoy being around other people. I feel re-charged and energized and love the stimulation. Sometimes I want to be at home and not talk to a single soul. Except my dog, it’s okay if he is there. But a common extrovert misnomer is that when they are having “alone time” they feel alone. False.

2.) I prefer small parties to large ones.

Large parties can be fun – but small parties are almost always better. I like interacting with people and having real conversations, not just bumping along with strangers to loud music.

3.) All the tips and advice on how to care for them should apply to all people.

I see this chart float around a lot on the internet, and it bothers me. I want to bust it up. Here goes:

How-to-care-for-introverts

1.) This should be a rule for all humans, right? 2.) Again… all humans.Don’t embarrass people in public. 3.) Completely fine, I also like to get my feet wet in new territory 4.) All humans  5.) All humans 6.) Most humans 7.) This is just being respectful of people 8.) See number 2 9.) Wouldn’t everyone like the chance to learn something this way before it is showcased? 10.) Basic human desire 11.) Don’t push anyone to make friends 12.) Both need each other, really.

4.) I am not forcing you to change.

So many posts about introverts make it seem like extroverts are bullies who are trying to change them. It is perfectly acceptable if you don’t want to talk to strangers. I enjoy it, but that doesn’t make either of us right or better. It is okay if you don’t want to come “out” much, I will still invite you because you are my friend and I enjoy hanging out with you… but I also will do more low-key activities with you, because I also need them. It is okay if you need time to process things before you respond. I am not a bully, I understand that all humans are different.

5.) Extroverts are bad listeners.

I pride myself (ha) on my listening skills. I enjoy listening and asking thoughtful follow-up questions. I enjoy recalling something that you had going on last week and will ask you about how it went next time I see you. I’m not just sitting here anxiously awaiting you to shut your mouth so I can blabber on some more.

6.) Extroverts are all self involved, vapid, and shallow.

I swear. We may talk a lot, but that does not make us less intelligent. Most extroverts are much more comfortable and confident talking about themselves, but it doesn’t mean all of us are arrogant.

7.) I am not a deep thinker.

That is rude. Just because I speak a lot doesn’t mean I don’t think a lot. Just because I like to share my thoughts does not mean I share all my thoughts. 

8.) Extroverts bore easily.

I am incredibly easily amused. I am rarely bored. Yes, I like stimulation, but I don’t need it constantly.

9.) Only introverts read books.

There are few things I enjoy more than crawling into a pile of pillows and reading a book. I enjoy escaping into that world and some of my very favorite humans are completely fictional.

10.) Having a lot of friends means you don’t have close friendships.

Yes, I have lots of friends. I am so grateful for all of them. This does not mean I have the same level of friendship with all humans. I have different people that I engage with and share with differently. There are a few people that I trust with everything.

 

I think it is important for all people to just pay attention to cues and respond respectfully to everyone. My closest friends are a total mix of introverts and extroverts. Being introverted doesn’t make someone shy or boring or not fun. Being extroverted doesn’t make someone pompous and obnoxious. Can’t we all just get along?

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Part of the A to Z Challenge… A post a day except Sunday for the month of April to cover topics beginning with each letter of the alphabet. I am mixing it up and am not doing my letters in order anymore. I am finding it hard to be cramped by a topic to write about that day.

I (1)

 

Thanks for taking the time to read this. I always love feedback, whether it’s an approving nod via a “like”, or a comment. Writing can be hard to put your thoughts out there and send them into the void, and it is nice to know that sometimes some of your words stick to something.

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8 thoughts on “Introverts v. Extroverts

    • I love that illustration, very cute. I think as humans we all go through periods where we are more of one thing than another, as well! I think the older I get the more I do want my alone time. When I was in college I wanted to be drowning in people all the time.

      I love that that illustration pointed out that introverts get lonely, too! GREAT point.

      Like

  1. The funny thing is, the first place I saw that “How to Care for Introverts” chart also had a “How to Care for Extroverts” chart, as well. Being an introvert myself and my boyfriend being an extrovert, it was cool to look at his chart and say, “Yeah, this makes total sense.” Sometimes because of personality difference we don’t realize we’re being disrespectful, etc, because The Golden Rule doesn’t always work when something you wouldn’t mind is something someone else would mind a LOT. The extrovert chart is in this article: http://blog.bufferapp.com/introverts-and-extroverts-what-they-are-and-how-to-get-along-with-everyone?utm_content=buffer40889&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer

    However, I do get what you’re saying about how there’s been too many of these articles, and some of them are giving misleading information. However, there should stop being ‘extrovert’ hate from these. It should instead examine the fact that our culture/society (at least in America) values extroversion more than introversion, especially if that introvert is shy or socially anxious. But that’s just my take on it. I enjoyed reading your thoughts on this. 🙂

    Like

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